Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Requesting Benefits:
How to Go About Getting Them
© 2003, Demian

Commonly, domestic partner workplace benefits come about because of requests to management from employees or from the personnel (or human resources) department. Partners Task Force has been contacted in equal numbers by these two groups for benefits information. With or without a worker request, management will sometimes ask a personnel officer to do the research to set up benefits.

Even when there is an interest in these benefits from management, gaining benefits involves communicating with many levels of the corporate structure, as well as insurance carriers, and the process can take anywhere from six months to three years.

Suggestions to Help Win Benefits at Your Workplace

  • Assess Your Environment
    Ask the personnel department if there is any movement in the works to offer benefits, or if benefits or health plan contracts are under reevaluation. If so, ask how you can assist.
  • Get Allies
    • One
      Do not make the request alone. Find at least two others to help with one aspect or another. Opposite-sex couples benefit in far greater numbers than same-sex couples — they should share in the work to help get these benefits.
    • Two
      A supplemental tactic would be to make a short vision statement about the need for benefits to workers and about the value of these benefits to your employer. Ask everyone to sign it. They don't need to do any research or other work, just allow them to back your efforts.
    • Three
      Perhaps less intimidating to an employer than a signed vision statement, would be if many employees were encouraged to individually request an expanded benefit plan for themselves or for their co-workers. This may be harder to get employees to do, but would also show a broad interest.
  • Make a Paper Trail
    Make your requests for benefits in writing. Encourage written responses. In writing, ask for specific reasons if your request is rejected.
  • Distribute Relevant Data
    Bring the most pertinent information to the decision-makers at your workplace. Use the data from our Web site Partners Task Force, and other sources.
Rationale

  • Helps Employee Recruitment
    Providing domestic partner benefits is an excellent way to attract valuable employees.
  • Helps Keep Employees
    With less to worry about regarding protecting their partners, a worker is more likely to stay with an employer and also to be more productive.
  • Promotes Employee Loyalty
    Providing domestic partner coverage for an employees’ same-sex partner communicates to lesbian and gay employees that they are full and valued participants in the workforce. It promotes employee morale.
  • Fairness
    Providing benefits to all kinds of families promotes equality. Fair treatment promotes a workplace atmosphere that feels safe and nurturing, which, in turn, allows for greater productivity.
  • Good Policy
    If a company has adopted policies of nondiscrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, then it should be consistent and not bar same-sex couples from access to benefits.
  • Helps Employees
    Benefits can account for a significant percentage (more than 25 percent) of total compensation. Most employers have traditionally offered benefits to employees’ spouses, even though basing employee benefits on marriage is not a legal requirement. Offering benefits to all couples would allow for equal job compensation.
  • Promotes Brand Loyalty
    Adoption of benefits is often warmly received by non-employee gay men, lesbians, their friends and relations, and other fair-minded consumers.
© 2003, Demian
Also see:
Domestic Partnership: Resource List
Media Resources: Domestic Partnership
Return to: Domestic Partnership Benefits
Return to: Partners: Table of Contents

© 2022, Demian
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