Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
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What’s (Funny) in a Name?
If so-and-so married so-and-so …
© 2000, Partners Task Force

Some years ago, the TV show Laugh-In brought us a party sequence that made up fictitious marriages of famous people, purely for the fun of mixing and matching names. It depended, of course, on the female changing her last name, a custom based on the repellent idea that the male partner owned the female once they married.

We thought it would be fun to match up famous people of the same sex to see how their names would look — should they decide to follow the name changing custom, even though it no longer means what it once did.

(hint: if you don’t “get it,” say the married name out loud)
  • If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
  • Nog (Quark’s son on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) with only one name, uses it twice when signing a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he’d be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
  • For baseball sports fans, let’s marry Boog Powell and Felipe Alou — Boog Alou.
  • If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.
  • If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp (cartoon character), then married Jack Paar, and then (finally) married Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

Have some pseudo marriage names to share?
Just like Milton Berle’s jokes, it doesn’t matter where you got them, just as long as they are funny.
Send them to:

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