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Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
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Marriage: Legal versus Ceremonial © 2002, Demian The word “marriage” packs a lot of meaning. Because it contains two widely divergent definitions, it has also been widely misunderstood. This is due to that fact that marriage is both a legal as well as a ceremonial event. Ceremonial marriages, sometimes called “weddings,” are performed by churches, temples, and within other social events. They can be tailored to reflect religious and philosophical views. Legal marriage — only obtained through a license in the United States — is entirely the responsibility of each state. This legal status has very specific rules and procedures affecting between 120-300 rights and responsibilities, depending upon one’s resident state. On the federal level, more than 1,138 rights and responsibilities are triggered. [Please see U.S. Federal Laws for the Legally Married. [The federal law disingenuously called DoMA tramples on the rights of states to decide the criteria of legal marriage. No other federal law has ever defined who can get a marriage license. Nor has it ever regulated who’s marriage license it will honor or disallow.] Opposite-sex couples may combine both the legal and ceremonial events, but they are entirely distinct under our nation’s constitutional separation of church and state. In order to simulate only a small fraction of these rights, a same-sex couple would need to spend as much as $3,000 for legal and related fees. And these documents need to be renewed about every four years. Wills, powers of attorney and relationship agreements give same-sex couples some say in the conduct of their personal affairs in the event of major life changes. Because same-sex couples are considered strangers in the eyes of the law — no matter how long one is in a committed relationship — same-sex couples must go to extraordinary lengths to protect their families. [Please see our Legal Precautions to Protect Your Relationship.] And these documents can all be challenged by blood relatives. In many jurisdictions, the relatives would have the weight of the law — and the prejudice of judges — on their side. Also, while the documents are as much as couples are allowed to legally create, they still cannot cover, for instance, the rights to:
Because same-sex couples love each other, they naturally want to be able to care for each other. This could all be accomplished with but a single legal document — usually available for about $35 — that could settled definitively the right of same-sex couples to protect their families. |
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© 2022, Demian None of the pages on this Web site may be reproduced by any form of reproduction without permission from Partners, with the exception of copies for personal, student, and non-commercial use. Please do not copy this article to any Web site. Links to this page are welcome. |