Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
An International Resource for Same-sex Couples
All families deserve equal treatment. Partners Task Force supports the diverse community of committed gay and
lesbian partners through a variety of media. This Web site contains more than 400 essays, surveys, legal articles and
resources on legal marriage, ceremonies, domestic partner benefits, relationship tips, parenting, and immigration.
Demian, director, Partners Task Force, Box 9685, Seattle, WA 98109-0685
206-935-1206 || demian@buddybuddy.com || buddybuddy.com
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All contents © 2012, Demian
This copyright notice is a reminder that no article or graphic may be reproduced without permission, excepting for personal
(or student), non-commercial use. Nothing may be copied to any other Web site. For referencing, please see Citation Information.
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Table of Contents
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• Special & Timely Notable Articles
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July 7, 2011 News Note:
New York State became the 8th U.S. state to offer legal marriage on June 24, 2011.
See: New York Offers Legal Marriage
March 28, 2011 News Note:
It has been reported that the heads of two of the 26 national offices of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) announced that they had temporarily stopped deportations of would-be immigrants who are validly married to their same-sex U.S. citizen spouses. Also, one other office announced that it would begin accepting family sponsorship applications from couples in same-sex marriages.
These changes are likely due to the growing consensus that the courts will find the “Defense of Marriage Act” to be unconstitutional.
Until these USCIS changes, there was no process that allowed a same-sex partner to sponsor a partner for immigration to the U.S.
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- Legal Marriage Notes:
Countries offering legal marriage:
Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Sweden, South Africa.
U.S. states and territories that offer legal marriage:
Connecticut, District of Columbia, Iowa, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York.
U.S. states that do NOT offer legal marriage, but recognize them:
Rhode Island.
Other locations that offer legal marriage:
Mexico City (Mexico).
- Campaign Tips for Ballot Measures on Legal Marriage
Talking the language of spiritual equality.
- Risking Backlash: Going for Legal Marriage
What to expect — and why.
- Same-Sex Marriage: A Compelling Need
The major legal ramifications of civil marriage —
down loadable “slide” presentation for use in speaking engagements and debates.
- Orders Page — Special items from Partners Task Force
Purchase of these items helps support Partners Task Force’s educational efforts.
Marriage Essays from Partner Task Force
- Key Marriage Articles — See this first, for the primary articles to read.
- Legal Marriage Primer
Read this if you don’t read another thing about legal marriage.
- Why Same-sex Marriage is good for America
Keeping couples healthy, productive, and off the dole.
- Constitutional Constriction
Prez Prays and Pitches Punk Power Ploy.
- Marrying Apartheid: The Failure of Domestic Partnership Status
When legal marriage seems far away — compromising
with domestic partnership plans could be worse.
- Most Compelling Reasons for Legal Marriage
Includes answers to arguments heard against legal marriage.
- Same-Sex Marriage: A Compelling Need
The major legal ramifications of civil marriage —
a down loadable “slide” presentation for use in speaking engagements and debates.
- Legal Marriage: The First Impediment
Hint: it’s not the theocrats.
- Risking Backlash: Going for Legal Marriage
What to expect — and why.
- Marriage Quiz: What kinds of marriage do these quotes describe?
Are they about interracial or same-sex couples? Test your knowledge!
- 2008 Presidential Candidates
Stances on Legal Marriage for Same-sex Couples.
- Homeland Insecurity
2004 Presidential Candidates Regarding Same-sex Couples.
- Should Gay Men & Lesbians Be Allowed to Pay Taxes?
A Contract with Gay America.
- Call it Sex
Talk of “same-gender” or “gay” marriage confuses the issue.
- On Winning the Hawaii Legal Marriage Court Case
December 3, 1996, a landmark for same-sex couples.
- Gay Pride Rally Speech on Legal Marriage
Volunteer Park, Seattle, Washington, June 28, 1998.
- Surviving Terrorism
How surviving same-sex partners are fairing in the aftermath of September 11, 2001.
- Union Support for Legal Marriage
Growing number of workers’ unions for marriage equality.
- Campaign Tips for Ballot Measures on Legal Marriage
Talking the language of spiritual equality.
Marriage Essays from Prominent Leaders and Organizations
- Anthropologists on Marriage and the Family
American Anthropological Association response to Focus on Family misrepresentations.
- ACLU: Letter from Florida
A plea that the governor veto an anti-marriage bill.
- Affirming Stable Families: The Indiana Suit for Legal Marriage
by the Indiana Civil Liberties Union
- American Psychological Association Reiterates Support for Same-Sex Marriage
APA Press Release
- Marriage-Supportive Sexual Orientation Resolution
by the African National Congress
- What Are You: Male, Merm, Herm, Ferm or Female?
by Professor William O. Beeman
Restriction of marriage to male/female only denies the full range of human genders.
- Elastic Institution: The Natural Evolution of Marriage
by John Borneman and Laurie Kain Hart, anthropology professors
- Evolving Institution of U.S. Legal Marriage
by Ginger Bucklin
Court cases and the changing face of marriage.
- Gay Dads Take Vows
by Chris Caldwell
A personal perspective on the San Francisco civil marriage disobedience.
- Same-Sex Marriage
by Amanda Cherrin, National Organization for Women
The Fight for Equality Gains Momentum.
- Mayoral Proclamation
by Ithaca Mayor Alan J. Cohen
National Freedom to Marry Day, February 12, 1998, Ithaca, N.Y.
- For Better or Worse
by Stephanie Coontz
Historian professor recounts the vast changes in marriage forms through the ages.
- Freedom and Unity in the Green Mountain State
by Vermont Representative Dean Corren
Author of the pro-marriage bill; an answer to the court demand for equal treatment.
- Marriage Equality Press Conference
by New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo
On June 24, 2011, shortly before signing legislation for same-sex legal marriage.
- I have Anguished
by Iowa Representative Ed Fallon
Address to the Iowa House of Representatives on its anti-marriage bill.
- Everything Possible
by Tim Fisher
At three, Fritz knows the truth. Marriage is about love.
- The Gay Marriage Bomb
by Richard Goldstein, Village Voice Executive Editor
By amending the constitution, the right hopes to ban what it can’t stop.
- Dancing Around Marriage
by E.J. Graff
After 15 years, still legal strangers.
- Sir Elton Gets Equality
by E.J. Graff
Elton John makes an honest man of his longtime love David Furnish.
- Marriage Equality Speech
by Washington State Governor Chris Gregoire
- Same-Sex Marriage Laws are Entitled to Full Faith and Credit
by Martin L. Haines, retired Burlington County assignment judge
No fair argument against the recognition of same-sex marriages can be generated.
- In Marriage Debate, Divorce Church from State
by Charles C. Haynes, senior scholar, First Amendment Center
Separation is good.
- Building a Good Society
by Mitzi Henderson, PFLAG past-president
Marriage is essential.
- Gay or Straight, Marriage is Good
by Thomas M. Keane Jr., Boston City Councilmember
A matter of valuing diversity and of justice.
- Why Marriage Matters
by Kate Kendell, director National Center for Lesbian Rights
Wrongful death suit? Not with same-sex couples you don’t.
- Spouses for Life?
by Patrick Letellier
Obtaining a San Francisco Marriage License.
- Why Marriage?
by Ellen Lewin
An anthropologist’s research on the meaning and impact of legal marriage.
- At a Crossroads on Gay Unions
by Georgia Representative John Lewis
Treating same-sex couples as equals, as family.
- Loving for All
by Mildred Loving
On the 40th Anniversary of Loving vs. Virginia.
- Same-Sex Marriage & Parenting
by April Martin, Ph.D.
Gosh, lesbians and gay men have kids, too! (There goes the procreation argument!)
- The Heartbeat of Our Constitution
by Paul Martin, Prime Minister of Canada
- Gays Face Same Battle Interracial Couples Fought
by Gail Mathabane
- Don’t Forget Marriage in 2008
by David Mixner
- What Is Marriage Anyway?
by Professor Richard D. Mohr
- The Stakes in the Gay-Marriage Wars
by Professor Richard D. Mohr
- Marriage Opponents Lack Critical Thinking
by Bill Myers
Righteous indignation rages, rather than reason.
- Equal Marriage: Resolutions and Talking Points
from the National Organization for Women
- Statement on Same-Sex Marriage
by Jim Prentice, Member of Parliament, Canada
The day after Liberal government introduction of pro-marriage legislation.
- Civil Rites
by Deb Price
Arguments against same-sex marriage mirror those that kept the races apart.
- Marriage: A Privilege or a Right?
by Louise Rafkin
A life event that shocked her out of a laissez faire attitude.
- Debates Over Gay Marriage Miss Basic Civil Rights Point
by The Reverend Dr. Philip de Rochambeau
Why the Mormon Church should not interfere with civil rights.
- Life after Knight
by Professor Eric Rofes
A call for direct action and civil disobedience.
- An Aloha State of Mind
by Gabriel Rotello
Strategies and preparations for winning hearts and minds.
- Anti-Marriage Laws Create Legal Swamp
by Gabriel Rotello
- Supporting Civil Marriage and Religious Freedom
San Diego County Democratic Party Central Committee
- I Will Sign the Resolution
San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders
- Bennett, Gays and the Truth
by Andrew Sullivan
Dissects right-wing arguments against same-sex marriage and our community at large.
- Marriage in a Loving Family
by Keith W. Swain
Psychology professor witnesses an act of social obedience.
- Marriage: The Ultimate Perk
by Patricia Nell Warren
Author of The Front Runner offers views on the “sanctity” of heterosexual marriage.
- Deserving Marriage
by John G. Wilkinson
Legislative Testimony in Washington State.
- Freedom to Marry & the Pursuit of Happiness
by Roger Winters
Marriage: ticket to adulthood.
- Winning & Keeping the Freedom to Marry
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
- Exclusion from Marriage: Historical Parallels
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
- Advancing Past the Injustice
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
After a ballot loss, the key issues remain.
- Creating a Climate of Receptivity
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
Laying the groundwork for political and legal victories.
- Marriage - All together now
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
A new campaign.
- For Richer, For Poorer
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
Same-Sex Couples and the Freedom to Marry as a Civil Right.
- Freedom to Marry: Keep Dancing
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
Response to the loss of the NY Hernandez v. Robles case.
by Evan Wolfson, director, The Marriage Project
Congressional Testimony to Repeal the DoMA Law.
- Freedom and Equality / La Libertad y La Igualdad
by José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, Prime Minister of Spain
Supporting legal marriage for same-sex couples, just before the legalizing vote.
Arguments Opposing “DoMA” from the Congressional Record and congress member’s Web sites
Arguments Opposing “DoMA” from Community Leaders and Organizations
Arguments Opposing the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA)
Religious Support for the Legal Right to Marry
Factual Support for the Legal Right to Marry
Factual Support - Legal Status
Factual Support - Money
Governments that Offer Legal Marriage
History on the Legal Right to Marry
U.S. Court Findings
- Hawaii Court Finding (Baehr v. Anderson - was Baehr v. Lewin, then Baehr v. Miike)
by Judge Kevin S.C. Chang, First Circuit Court, Hawaii, Dec. 3, 1996
The first major ruling for same-sex marriage; based on sex discrimination.
A testament to the suitability of gay & lesbian parents to raise children.
- Alaska Court Finding (Brause v. Alaska)
by Superior Court Judge Peter A. Michalski, Feb. 27, 1998
The second U.S. state court ruling in favor of same-sex legal marriage.
Based on sex discrimination and the right to privacy.
- Vermont Court Finding (Baker v. State of Vermont)
by the Vermont Supreme Court, Dec. 20, 1999
The third U.S. state court finding — same-sex couples must be given the full
and equal protections, benefits, and responsibilities accorded married couples.
- The Vermont Ruling: Status Updates by Mary Bonauto, Esq., co-counsel in Baker v. State of Vermont
- Massachusetts Court Finding (Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health)
November 18, 2003
The fourth U.S. state court finding — same-sex couples must be given the full
and equal protections, benefits, and responsibilities accorded married couples.
- South Africa Court Finding (Minister of Home Affairs and Another v. Fourie and Another)
December 1, 2005
The fifth nation in the world to offer legal marriage to same-sex couples.
- New York Dissenting Opinion (Hernandez v. Robles)
by Chief Judge Judith S. Kaye, July 6, 2006
Makes clear the issues and the justice of allowing legal marriage.
- Washington State Dissenting Opinion - Bridge (Andersen v. King County)
by Justice Bobbe J. Bridge, July 26, 2006
Clarifies the issues and the justice of allowing legal marriage.
- Washington State Dissenting Opinion - Fairhurst (Andersen v. King County)
by Justice Mary E. Fairhurst, July 26, 2006
Expresses outrage at the blatent discrimination against same-sex couples.
- Iowa District Court Finding (Varnum v. Brien)
by Judge Robert B. Hanson, August 30, 2007
- California Court Finding (In re Marriage Cases)
by the California Supreme Court, October 15, 2008
- Connecticut Court Finding (In re Marriage Cases)
by the Connecticut Supreme Court, May 15, 2008
Rights that Come with Legal Marriage
Legal Marriage Resources
Domestic Partner Benefit Provider Lists
in the U.S., Canada, and Selected Other Countries
Global Governmental Legal Registration
Further Domestic Partnership Resources
- Requesting Benefits
How to go about getting them.
- Anatomy of a Domestic Partnership Affidavit
The Good, The Ugly, and The Bad.
- Marrying Apartheid: The Failure of Domestic Partnership Status
When legal marriage seems far away — compromising
with domestic partnership plans could be worse.
- Sample Domestic Partnership Affidavit I
A simple model form.
- Sample Domestic Partnership Affidavit II
A complex model form.
- Roadblocks
Issues commonly raised by employers.
- Facts on Domestic Partnership Benefits
Brief notes on studies and landmarks.
- Domestic Partner Statistics, Insurance, Taxes, Court Cases
Data from the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.
- Employment Anti-Discrimination States
U.S. States and Districts.
- Domestic Partnership Resource List
Benefit-Tracking Organizations.
- Media Resources: Domestic Partnership, Workplace Benefits
Books & Articles.
- Positive Effects on the State of Alaska from Domestic Partnership Benefits
Report by M.V. Lee Badgett, PhD.
- Quotes — Domestic Partnership Benefits
Philosophic arguments.
- How the AAA Motor Club of Washington Came to
Offer 2nd Member Discounts to Domestic Partners
An example of gaining a non-employee benefit.
- E-mail Groups
Get e-mail on Marriage, Domestic Partnership, Parenting, Events.
Tips
Abuse
Counseling Studies
- Parenting Options for Same-Sex Couples in the U.S.
Legal status overview of adoption, foster care, donor insemination, surrogating, custody.
- Too High a Price: The Case Against Restricting Gay Parenting v.1
by the ACLU, with an introduction by Rosie O’Donnell
- Too High a Price: The Case Against Restricting Gay Parenting v.2
by the ACLU, introduction by Shay Bilchik, president and CEO, Child Welfare League of America
- The Gay Parent: Challenging the Myths
by Demian
- The Couples Chronicles
Interviews of Lesbian & Gay Couples by Demian
Many interviews are with couples who have children.
- Gay Men Choosing to be Fathers
by Michael Shernoff, MSW
- Parenting in New Jersey
by Stephen J. Hyland, Esq.
The uncertain legal status of same-sex couples.
- Hawaii Court Finding (Baehr v. Anderson)
by Judge Kevin S.C. Chang, First Circuit Court, Hawaii, Dec. 3, 1996
The first major ruling for same-sex marriage; based on sex discrimination; a testament
to the suitability of gay & lesbian parents to raise children.
- Laugh It Off
by Judy Gold
If we’re going to have to endure bigotry, we might as well enjoy it.
- Same-Sex Couples: Marriage, Families, and Children
by Professor Michael S. Wald
An Analysis of California’s Proposition 22 — The “Knight” Initiative.
- Parenting Policy Statements
Supportive positions from mainstream American organizations.
- E-mail Groups
Get e-mail on Marriage, Domestic Partnership, Parenting, Events.
- Organizations for Gay & Lesbian Parents
- Media Resources: Parenting
Committed Couples Photo Galleries — Your Images Go Here!
Quotes — Affirmations and Provocations on Same-sex Couples
Thought Pieces from Partners Task Force
- Famous Same-Sex Couples
Plus how long they were together.
- Famous Fictional Same-Sex Couples on Television
Fantasy islands on the vast wasteland.
- Landmarks for Same-sex Couples
A list of firsts for social, legal, and financial equality.
- Top Secret
Same-sex couples and the U.S. military
- Terms of Same-Sex Endearment
Language has the Power to Define the Dream of Equality
- Why Partners Task Force Does Not Use “Queer” to Define Our Community
The language of hate.
- Same-Sex Marriage Pride Day Project
A simple plan for legal issues visibility.
- Legal Marriage Rally - Seattle, March 11, 2006
Photos of the speakers.
- Jerry Falwell’s Greatest Fear
Hint: What is short, fat, purple and carries a bright red purse?
- Defining a Movement
The “gay agenda” of justice from ACLU, HRC, NGLTF, Lambda Legal, etc.
- What’s (Funny) in a Name?
If so-and-so married so-and-so …
Thought Pieces from Community Leaders
Media
Basics - Definitions
Basics - Anti-Gay Hatred Manifested
Basics - Satire
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• Surveys of Concern to Same-Sex Couples
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Research Conducted by Partners Task Force
Research from Various Other Sources
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• Special Items of Interest
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- Demian, Partners Task Force director and Web site programmer
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“Whenever I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have always been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it: always.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“We don’t waste people the way white society does. Every person has their gift.” — Joe Medicine Crow, Crow Tribe
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