Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

Menu
Notable Events Legal Marriage Essays Legal Marriage Data Ceremonial Marriage Domestic Partnership
Legal Necessities Relationship Tips Immigration Couples Chronicles Parenting
Inspiration Orientation Basics Surveys Resource Lists Citation Information
Welcome (About) Your Host Copyright Policy Link Policies Search Site

Assessing Discomfort
by Demian
© January 1999, Demian



Uncomfortable situations in a relationship sometimes can lead to conflict. The form below can be used to assess relative distress levels in various hypothetical situations.

Take turns with your partner to rate the situations listed below from
4 (highly uncomfortable) to 1 (minor discomfort).
Use the results as a basis for discussion.

Situation Partner
A B
Your partner is coming home one to three hours late, four nights a week because she or he is getting involved in work or volunteer efforts.    
Your partner begins to take a mechanical, disinterested approach to lovemaking.    
You and your partner have an argument and she or he pushes you so hard it leaves a large bruise. Both of you are aware that this was not an accident.    
Your partner lacks initiative in many areas and leaves decision-making to you.    
Your partner has chosen to join a support group for personal growth. This means you will have to cut back on your joint entertainment time and expenses.    
Your partner takes the initiative in many areas and leaves no decision-making to you.    
Your partner pressures you for a form of sex with which you feel uncomfortable.    
Your partner tells you to mind your own business when you mention your concern that she or he is abusing a substance, such as alcohol, pot or food.    
You have two weeks available for vacation. Your partner has decided she or he wants to spend one of these alone.    

Like most values clarification exercises, there are no right or wrong answers. Indeed, there are no right or wrong ways of dealing with the conflicts that can arise from these situations. However, considering minor conflicts in advance can help ease tensions later.

This exercise was adapted from materials developed by Campus Christian Ministry.

Return to: Partners: Table of Contents

© 2022, Demian
None of the pages on this Web site may be reproduced by any form of reproduction without
permission from Partners, with the exception of copies for personal, student, and
non-commercial use. Please do not copy this article to any Web site.
Links to this page are welcome.