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Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
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Q: I’m looking for a lover, possibly a life-partner. All the good ones seem to be taken already. I’d like someone to be my dreamboat. Where do I start?
First Be as specific as possible. Make a choice of person in every category: economic class, politics, religion, ducation, food likes, smokes?, drinks?, etc. The quaint notion that opposites attract is total junk. Most long-term couples started with a lot in common. The main relationship glue is shared interests and beliefs.
Second If you want a spiritual person, look for him or her at a gay/lesbian-friendly meditation group or church. (Warning: 95 percent of those attending gay churches are already in a relationship.) If you want a professional, go to your local “gay/lesbian business association luncheons.” Searching where you live makes the most sense, unless you live in a rural area. While there are gay people in every location, a population density is necessary to get the critical mass for there to be a large enough pool of available candidates. Internet searches cast too broad a net. Also, they do not provide the very important face-to-face experience. There is nothing more frustrating — and likely to be unfulfilling — then falling in love with someone who lives 5,000 miles away.
Third If your a potential partner does not fit your list, do not expect to get them to change. You will be frustrated, and they will be resentful. The “good” ones are not all taken. Sometimes they have been made “good” by being part of an ongoing, mutually supportive relationship. You and your future partner will help each other become one of the good ones.
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