Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Sex and Touch
by Demian
© January 1999, Demian



Sometimes sex is difficult to talk about. The worst time to talk about sex may be when engaged in it. This is because there is often too much pressure to do things right, or fears of sexual inadequacy.

Talking before sex, about how and when you touch each other, helps to make your feelings and sexual needs clear. Never assume your partner knows exactly what you want and need.

Listen carefully to your partner's needs without criticism. Sexual inhibitions take ages to break down, and can be resurrected with a callous remark. Tell your partner how you feel about particular forms of touch:

  • Some forms, like tickling or jabbing, are likely to inhibit arousal.

  • Other forms of touch, like a neck rub, feel neutral or good, but do not necessarily increase sexual arousal. Tell your partner about those forms of touch, or particular places, that are nice, but not a turn-on.

  • Everyone has special places, or a sequence of places, that most excite them. Tell your partner when, where and how you like to be touched for heightened sexual arousal.
Developed from suggestions offered by Howard Leonard, Ph.D., psychologist.

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