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Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples Online from 1995-2022 Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership. In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade. In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur. Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners. Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship. Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer. |
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While Legal Marriage is no longer denied same-sex couples, access is still limited and many countries still will not recognize the legal status.
Ceremonial Marriage is possible almost everywhere in the world. The individual congregations in the U.S. listed on our Web site are more than willing to perform same-sex ceremonies. [See Individual U.S. Congregations Offering Ceremonies for Same-Sex Couples.] To find more such congregations, we suggest contacting the MCC, Quaker, Unitarian, and Reform or Reconstructionist Jewish organizations. They can be located through local gay/lesbian newspapers, and the national guide, the Gayellow Pages. Many of these religious groups ask couples to go through an assessment period, to determine suitability for marriage, which can take place over several weeks or months. In spite of the intense societal pressure to prohibit same-sex families, we have seen ample evidence for a high degree of commitment to a relationship by same-sex couples. In Partners National Survey, representing 1,266 couples, fully 67 percent of the women and 76 percent of the men stated they where committed for “life.” And another 25 percent of the women and 20 percent of the men said they where committed “for a long time.” Our survey also found that 19 percent of the women and 11 percent of the men had held a ceremony; 12 percent of the women and nine percent of the men had held some other kind of ritual. Rings or other symbols where carried by 57 percent of the women and by 36 percent of the men. Some religious communities dictate what may, or may not be said in rites of passage — either by church law, or by tradition. One Unitarian Universalist reverend, however, told us that each of their services are unique, reflecting a couple’s personal spiritual depth and direction. This approach endeavors to create a service that speaks to the couple, rather than tradition or church law. Same-sex couples can and often do design their own weddings. When churches are unwilling, or when the couple is uninterested in a church service, couples may ask anyone they want to officiate, such as a friend, a relative, or a lawyer — and hold it anywhere they want, such as a banquet hall, a forest, a mountain top, or Disney World/Land, etc. We know of a lesbian couples who loved to travel and held marriage ceremonies everywhere they went; the Elvis Marriage Drive-In was one of their favorites. Ceremony or not, same-sex families would be wise to draw legal documents such as wills, powers of attorney, custody assignments, and relationship agreements. These are the barest of family supports, until legal marriage is available. [Please see: Legal Precautions to Protect Your Relationship]
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© 2022, Demian None of the pages on this Web site may be reproduced by any form of reproduction without permission from Partners, with the exception of copies for personal, student, and non-commercial use. Please do not copy this article to any Web site. Links to this page are welcome. |