Archive Version of
Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Online from 1995-2022

Demian and Steve Bryant originally founded Partners as a monthly newsletter in 1986. By late 1990 it was reformatted into a bi-monthly magazine. Print publication was halted by 1995 when Demian published Partners as a Web site, which greatly expanded readership.

In 1988, the Partners National Survey of Lesbian & Gay Couples report was published; the first major U.S. survey on same-sex couples in a decade.

In 1996, Demian produced The Right to Marry, a video documentary based on the dire need for equality that was made clear by the data from the survey mentioned above. The video featured interviews with Rev. Mel White, Evan Wolfson, Phyllis Burke, Richard Mohr, Kevin Cathcart, Faygele benMiriam, Benjamin Cable-McCarthy, Susan Reardon, Frances Fuchs, Tina Podlodowski, and Chelle Mileur.

Demian has been the sole operator during the last two decades of Partners.

Demian stopped work on Partners Task Force in order to realize his other time-consuming projects, which include publishing the book “Operating Manual for Same-Sex Couples: Navigating the rules, rites & rights” - which is now available on Amazon. The book is based on the Partners Survey mentioned above, his interviews of scores of couples, and 36 years of writing hundreds of articles about same-sex couples. It’s also been informed by his personal experience in a 20-year, same-sex relationship.

Demian’s other project is to publish his “Photo Stories by Demian” books based on his more than six decades as a photographer and writer.


Partners Task Force for Gay & Lesbian Couples
Demian, director    206-935-1206    demian@buddybuddy.com    Seattle, WA    Founded 1986

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Iceland Offers Legal Marriage
by Demian
© July 25, 2010, Demian



Iceland’s parliament amended the marriage law on June 11, 2010 to define marriage as between two individuals, thereby making it the 10th world government to offer same-sex legal marriage. The law became effective on June 27, 2010.

History
License Procedures
Warnings: Marriage Law Pitfalls

History

Prohibitive laws governing homosexuality were repealed in 1940. In 1992, the Althing passed an amendment (no. 40/1992) to the clauses in the section on public decency in the penal code of 1940, now renamed “Sexual Offences.” The age of consent was set at 14, and sexual intercourse between individuals of 14 and above was legal as long as both parties consented. No distinction was then made between parties according to sex. All discrimination against homosexuals relating to the age of consent was eliminated.

Registered partnerships between same-sex couples became legal in 1996. In 2000, the Althing passed an amendment to the law on registered partnerships (no. 87/1996) which allowing foreign nationals living in Iceland to register their partnerships, and reciprocal recognition of registrations in those countries that had comparable laws.

Since 2006, Icelandic same-sex couples became eligible to a range of laws including public access to IVF insemination treatment, surrogacy and both full joint adoption and adopting your own partner’s biological children.

On March 23, 2010, the Government presented a bill, which would allow same-sex couples to marry. Parliament unanimously approved the bill — 49-0, with 14 abstentions — on June 11, 2010, and it took effect on June 27, 2010.

Iceland’s Prime Minister, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, married writer Jónína Leósdóttir on Sunday, the first day that legal same-sex marriage was available in Iceland. [See our article: Famous Same-Sex Couples] The marriage makes Sigurðardóttir the first government leader in the modern world to enter a same-sex marriage.

Sigurðardóttir, who has children from a previous opposite-sex marriage, is the modern world’s first, and only, openly gay head of state. Her orientation has never been an issue in Iceland, which, like the other Nordic states, has a history of tolerance and support.

License Procedures

License:

  • Submit documentation to verify that there are no impediments to the marriage (according to The law in Respect of Marriage no, 31, April 14th, 1993.)
  • Both parties must be 18 years of age and not already married.
  • Only original documents are accepted. Documents in other than English and Scandinavian languages must be accompanied by a translation.
  • All documents must be received 2 weeks before the planned wedding date. If more convenient, copies can first be sent by fax or e-mail, and originals handed in at a later date, no later than 5 days before the planned wedding date. If the documents are not received within this time frame, the planned marriage will be considered cancelled.
In the District of Reykjavík, civil marriage ceremonies are performed monday-friday at the Office at Skógarhlíð 6 at 15:00 or 15:30.
There is a fee of IKR 7.700.

After the ceremony has taken place, an English marriage certificate can be obtained from
      Þjóðskrá (The National Registry Office)
      Borgartún 24, 105 Reykjavík, Iceland
      +354 569 2950, fax +354 569 2949; thjodskra@thjodskra.is
      thjodskra.is

The required documents - two weeks before the planned wedding date:
  1. Hjónavígsluskýrsla
    This form is provided by Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík. It can be sent to you by mail. The form has to be carefully filled in according to the instructions provided, signed by both parties, and signed by two trustworthy persons who, by signing the form, vouch for the fact that there are no legal impediments to the planned marriage.
  2. Birth certificate
    Both partners need to submit birth certificates. The originals may be returned after the wedding ceremony if required.
  3. Certificate of marital status
    Both partners need to submit a certificate of marital status issued by the relevant authority in their country, state or region. The certificate must be issued within 4 weeks prior to the wedding ceremony.
    Some countries do not issue a certificate of marital status. If that is the case, a declaration of honor is required, issued by the spouses stating that she or he is not married, or that she or he is divorced or widowed, and has not remarried. It is preferred that the couple make the declaration of honor before a Notary Public. If that is not possible, contact us.
    If the couple is a foreign citizen or residing abroad, a certificate issued in their country, confirming that there are no impediments to the planned marriage, may be required.
  4. If bride/groom is divorced
    A divorce decree, a document to prove that previous marriage has ended with a legal divorce. It is also necessary to prove that the division of assets and liabilities between the former spouses has been finalized.
    A divorce decree issued by a foreign authority (other than authorities in Denmark, Norway, Sweden or Finland) must be validated by the Ministry of Justice in Reykjavík, Iceland, before it is presented to Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík.
    To apply for a validation of a foreign divorce decree, contact:
          Dómsmálaráðuneyti (The Ministry of Justice)
          Skuggasund, 150 Reykjavík, Iceland
          +354 545 9000, fax +354 552 7340; postur@dkm.stjr.is
          domsmalaraduneyti.is
  5. If bride or groom is a widow or widower
    An Official document showing that the estate (assets and liabilities) of the deceased spouse has been finalized/divided.
  6. Legal stay in Iceland
    Both partners must be legally staying in Iceland when wedding takes place. Proof of that must be presented: Residence permit, visa or confirmation of arrival date (passport stamp of flight ticket).
    Information in English regarding residence permits and visas can be found at the website of The Icelandic Directorate of Immigration: utl.is/english
  7. Passports
    Both partners must present valid passports.

Non-Resident Basics:
  • Non-residents are allowed to marry.
  • Bring valid passports and both partners’ birth certificates.
  • Bring a medical certificate from your doctor stating that neither one of you have communicable diseases.
  • Non-US citizens should obtain a certificate of marital status (if applicable, present an original divorce decree signed by the Ministry of Justice located in Reykjavik).
  • Fill out the application form available from the District Magistrate of Reykjavik (one witness per partner) certifying your eligibility for marriage.
  • Drop off the application two days before the marriage date. If mailing the application, it must arrive two weeks before the marriage date.
Note: The marriage application requires two witness names and birth dates. They do not have to be at the wedding itself. Obtain an application from the Reykjavik District Commissioner’s office. The official wedding ceremony is held there as well.

      Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík (Reykjavík District Commissioner)
      Skógarhlíð 6, 105 Reykjavík, Iceland
      +354 569 2480, fax +354 562 4870; gifting@syslumenn.is You can also contact an Icelandic embassy for further information.

Icelandic Embassies in the US

      Embassy of Iceland
      1156 15th Street N.W., #1200, Washington D.C. 20005-1704, USA
      202-265-6653, fax 202-265-6656; icemb.wash@utn.stjr.is

      Consulate General of Iceland
      800 Third Ave, 36th floor, New York NY 10022, USA
      212-593-2700, fax 646-282-9369; icecon.ny@utn.stjr.is

Icelandic Embassies in Canada
      Embassy of Iceland at Constitution Square
      360 Albert St., #710, Ottawa, Ontario, K1R 7X7, Canada
      613-482-1944, fax 613-482-1945; icemb.ottawa@utn.stjr.is
      Icelandic Consulate Office
      One Wellington Crescent #100, Winnipeg, Manitoba, R3M 3Z2, Canada
      icecon.winnipeg@utn.stjr.is

Icelandic Embassies in the UK

      Embassy of Iceland in London
2A Hans St., London SW1X 0JE, England
      +44 20 7259 3999, fax +44 20 7245 9649; icemb.london@utn.stjr.is

      Consulate of Iceland in Ireland
      Cavendish House, Smithfield, Dublin, Ireland
      (1) 872-9299, fax (1) 872-9877; jgg@goregrimes.ie

Icelandic Embassies in Europe

      Die Botschaft von Island in Wien (Embassy of Iceland in Vienna)
      Naglergasse 2/3/8, 1010 Wien, Austria
      +43 1 533 2771, fax +43 1 533 2774; emb.vienna@mfa.is

      Embassy of Iceland
      Rond-Point Schuman 11, 1040 Bruxelles, Belgium
      +32 (0)2 238 50 00, fax +32 (0)2 230 69 38; emb.brussels@mfa.is

      Islands ambassade (Embassy of Iceland)
      Strandgade 89, DK-1401 København, Denmark
      +45 3318 1050, fax +45 33 18 10 59; icemb.coph@utn.stjr.is

      Islannin suurlähetystö (Icelandic Embassy)       Pohjoisesplanadi 27 C, 2 krs, 00100 Helsinki, Finland       09-612 2460, fax 09-612 24620       Ambassade d'Islande
      8, avenue Kléber, 75116 Paris, France
      +33-01 44 17 32 85, fax +33-01 40 67 99 96; icemb.paris@utn.stjr.is

      Botschaft der Republik Island (Embassy of the Republic of Iceland)
      Rauchstraße 1, 10787 Berlin, Germany
      +49 (0) 30 50 50 40 00, fax +49 (0) 30 50 50 43 00; infoberlin@mfa.is

      Islands ambassade (Embassy of Iceland)
      Stortingsgaten 30, Oslo, Norway
      Mailing: Islands Ambassade, 0244 Oslo, Norway
      +(47) 2323-7530, fax +(47) 2283-0704; emb.oslo@mfa.is

      Islands ambassad (Icelandic Embassy)
      Kommendörsgatan 35, SE-114 58 Stockholm, Sweden
      +46 (0) 8 442 8300, fax +46 (0) 8 660 7423; icemb.stock@utn.stjr.is

Icelandic Embassies in Asia

      Embassy of Iceland to China
      Landmark Tower 1 #802, No.8 Dongsanhuan Bei Lu, Beijing 100004, P.R. China
+86 (10) 6590 7795, fax: +86 (10) 6590 7801; icemb.beijing@utn.stjr.is

      Embassy of Iceland
      4-18-26, Takanawa, Minato-ku, Tokyo 108-0074, Japan
      +81 (03) 3447-1944, Fax: +81 (03) 3447-1945; icemb.tokyo@utn.stjr.is

Icelandic Embassies in Australia

      Iceland Consulate in Australia
      16 Birriga Road, Bellevue Hill, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
      +61-2-93657345, fax +61-2-93657328; iceland@bigpond.net.au

Divorce:

To obtain a divorce, it appears that at least one partner must be an Icelandic resident.
For couples who agree to divorce, the process takes 6 months from the date a permit for legal separation was issued, or judgment pronounced, provided the provisions of Article 35 do not apply. Article 35 concerns spouses continuing to cohabit for more than a short period. The legal effects of separation shall also terminate if the spouses resume cohabitation later, except for an attempt of short duration to resume the union.
For those couples who do not agree to divorce, either party may claim divorce when they have lived separately for a period of a least 2 years.

Warnings: Marriage Law Pitfalls

In the Event of a Couple Parting

Icelandic divorces appear to require a 6-month residency if both partners agree to divorce. If they do not, a 2-year period is required.

If you live in an U.S. state that does not honor your marriage — which may not be determined until requesting something usually triggered by a marriage license — that state’s courts will also be unlikely to grant you a divorce.

The ability to divorce is critical. Besides the emotional reasons to dissolve a no longer functioning union, there are legal entanglements to consider. For instance, should one of the partners form a new relationship, they would not be able to sign up their new partner for workplace benefits. Most employers require an affidavit that stipulates that the partners are not married to anyone else, or have another domestic partner.

Governments that offer Full Legal Marriage
Nations
.
Netherlands (2001)
Belgium (2003)
Canada (2005)
Spain (2005)
South Africa (2005)
Norway (2009)
Sweden (2009)
Iceland (2010)
Argentina (2010)
Portugal (2010)
Denmark (2012)
France (2013)
New Zealand (2013)
Brazil (2013)
Uruguay (2013)
New Zealand (2013)
United Kingdom
   (England, Wales) (2013)
Luxembourg (2014)
Finland (2014)
Scotland (2014)
Ireland (2015)
Greenland (2015)
United States (2015)
Colombia (2016)
Germany (2017)
Malta (2017)
Australia (2017)
Austria (2019)
Taiwan (2019)
Ecuador (2019)
Costa Rica (2020)
Chile (2022)
Estonia (2023)
Nepal (2023)
Greece (2024)
US States
.
U.S. Supreme Court, June 26, 2015 Ruling: All States must allow legal, same-sex marriage.
.
These states had legal marriage before the ruling:
.
Massachusetts (2004)
California (2008)
Connecticut (2008)
Iowa (2009)
Vermont (2009)
New Hampshire (2009)
District of Columbia (2009)
New York (2011)
Maine (2012)
Washington (2012)
Maryland (2013)
Rhode Island (2013)
Delaware (2013)
Minnesota (2013)
Illinois (2013)
Utah (2013)
New Jersey (2013)
Hawaii (2013)
New Mexico (2013)
Michigan (2014) - stayed pending legal challenge
Oregon (2014)
Wisconsin (2014)
Arkansas (2014) - stayed pending legal challenge
Pennsylvania (2014)
Indiana (2014)
Nevada (2014)
Virginia (2014)
Oklahoma (2014)
Idaho (2014)
West Virginia (2014)
Alaska (2014)
Arizona (2014)
Wyoming (2014)
Kansas (2014) - stayed pending legal challenge
Florida (2014)
Colorado (2014)
North Carolina (2014)
South Carolina (2014)
Montana (2014)
Alabama (2015)
Native American Tribes
.
Coquille Tribe, Oregon (2009)
Mashantucket Pequot Tribe, Connecticut (2010)
Suquamish Tribe, Washington (2011)
Port Gamble S’Klallam Tribe, Washington (2011)
Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians, Michigan (2013)
Pokagon Band of Potawatomi Indians, Michigan (2013)
Santa Ysabel Tribe, California (2013)
Confederated Tribes of the Colville Reservation, WA (2013)
Cheyenne & Arapaho Tribes, Oklahoma (2013)
Leech Lake Band of Ojibwe, Minnesota (2013)
Grand Portage Band of Chippewa, Minnesota (2013)
Puyallup Tribe of Indians, Washington (2014)
Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community, Arizona (2014)
Wind River Indian Reservation, Wyoming (2014)
Blackfeet Indian Reservation, Montana (2014)
San Carlos Apache Tribe, Arizona (2014)
Fort McDermitt Paiute & Shoshone Tribes, OR & NV (2014)
Fort McDowell Yavapai Community, Arizona (2014)
Lac du Flambeau Band of Lake Superior Chippewa, WI (2014)
Fond du Lac Band of Lake Superior Chippewa (2014)
Keweenaw Bay Indian Community (2014)
Pascua Yaqui Tribe (2014)
Confederated Tribes of Coos, Lower Umpqua, & Siuslaw Indians (2014)
Central Council of Tlingit & Haida Indian Tribes, Alaska (2015)
Oneida Nation, Wisconsin (2015)
Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians (2015)
Chemehuevi Indian Tribe (2015)
Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde (2015)
Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians (2015)
Stockbridge-Munsee Tribe (2016)
Oglala Sioux Tribe (2016)
Tulalip Tribe, Washington (2016)
Menominee Nation (2016)
Cherokee Nation (2016)

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